The following entry was written under the influence of severe travel jitters... Blame the pesky "what ifs."
There’s no other way to say it–my cool, calm, and collected mojo is running out of stock. No matter what happens in this upcoming trip, my blog has absolutely no room for these six rascals:
1. “What Everybody Ought To Know About Canceled Flights”
I cringe every time flight cancellations make it on the news. Then a silent prayer follows:
Dear weather and aviation gods, please make this trip happen. I’ll even perform a choreographed version of the sun dance if you want me to.
Be kind to me.
2. “40 Ways To Get Scammed On Foreign Soil”
The last time I checked, I signed up for a holiday–not a nightmare.
“40 Ways To AVOID Scams” has a much better ring to it, don’t you think?
3. “Lost Passport Abroad? Read On.”
In my paranoia, I even sought the counsel of Lord Google about this unfortunate possibility.
I can’t even… No.
Little Miss Careless and Madam Forgetful cannot join my entourage.
4. “Vacation Turns Sour: The Night I Spent In Jail”
Public service announcement to fellow travel rookies:
When you’re days away from your first international trip, watching the new season of Locked Up Abroad isn’t such a good idea. Trust me.
How many I-don’t-wanna-go-to-jail spiels do I have to memorize?
5. “Houston, we have a bloody problem.”
I hope that we’ll have no reason to use the first aid kit abroad. And oh, emergency trips to the hospital are not part of the itinerary either. End of discussion.
6. “How We Missed Our Flight Home”
There are times when a simple question–“Are you kidding me?”–becomes the most profound string of words on Earth.
This better not end on a (very) low note.
Let’s face it: cautionary tales exist for good reason. I can even read about them all day. But in my book, writing about what went right trumps what went wrong.
Have you seen my happy pills?